So where am I now? I have a husband, two sons, my parents, amazing friends, a beautiful home, and I am happy. I can honestly say I am happy. I know where I come from. I know where I am headed. Things don't seem uncertain like they did in my 20s. At 21, I had no idea how many kids I would have, where I would work, or live, or how I would stay healthy and sane as I aged.
I have more focus the older I get. It's making me a better runner. Ten years ago, I wouldn't have dreamed of running 60+ miles a week, taking infinite ice baths, rolling my legs out twice daily, and getting up hours before most the city rises. This morning I ran a half marathon for the second time this week and while my body asked politely to stop a few times, I told her to, "Shut up and annihilate this thing," and she obliged. That little insecure voice in my head doesn't speak loudly anymore. During this round of training, I have pushed myself harder than ever before and each time I push, I get a little stronger.
In the last 7 days, I've run 64 miles. Tuesday left my legs battered with lactic acid as I pushed that threshold as hard as I could. For the first time ever, I ran a 7:11 mile after running 6 miles each under an 8:45 pace. My calves didn't burn too badly while I ran at speed. They waited to erupt into acidic flare while I cooled down on a giant hill near my home. A man walking his dog stopped to watch me stretch out momentarily. He snickered as I clutched my legs. "Good run?" he asked.
"Best yet!" I answered.
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