Swim lessons aren't just for kids.

My physical therapist, Kevin, told me to start swimming for one hour, twice a week.  Problem is, I haven't swam laps in 20 years or more.  Mom and Dad, thanks for the swimming lessons, but sadly I don't remember much.  My first attempt in the pool was utterly humiliating and I knew I needed a lesson to get started.

Last Friday, I walked into the SwimLabs swimming school in Highlands Ranch, Colorado.  This is where my oldest son takes swim lessons so I got the private instructor at a reduced cost.  The school consists of 4 tiny pools.  Each one has a current running down the middle.  Ideally, when you swim you shouldn't travel at all, unless the current smacks your floundering body into the back end of the pool. 

While I sat in the waiting area, 10 kids ran from one side of the room to the other.  One bratty kid threw a bouncy ball at a wall and narrowly missed my head repeatedly.  I glared at him and his dad to no avail.  "Can't they see I am a nervous wreck?"  There were live feed television sets along the upper wall where parents watched their child's entire lesson without having to approach the swim floor.  "Enjoy the show everyone!  I can guarantee this will be good."

Once called back, I met my instructor.  Amy made it clear from the start that she had no sense of humor.  Either that, or she was pissed she had to work with an adult. 

"Show me your freestyle.  That way we can know exactly what we are starting with."

"Yeah, I don't think that is a good idea." I cowered.  "It is ugly."

She assured me that was okay, but when I stuck my head in the water and propelled myself 3 strokes before gulping back a ton of water, I saw her face.  She displayed a nice mix of, "Holy shit.  Really?" and "Now what?"

Deciding that working on my side breath was a good place to begin she told me to hold onto a bar while the current propelled the rest of my body backwards.  She repeatedly reminded me to keep one goggle in the water at all times while I took my breath, but the water current kept whipping waves high into my shoulder, water boarding me at every breath.

Amy became increasingly frustrated and saw we were getting nowhere.  Each pool is equipped with mirrors and multiple cameras where instructors record your every blunder.  For at least 15 seconds at a time she recorded my half attempt at a freestyle, then would replay it so we could observe my humiliation real time.  "Keep your legs parallel to the water."  "Look straight down."  "Don't jerk your head around begging for air."  "That's nice, but this time try not to slap your arms down so, um, violently." 

While we compared my crude video footage to that of Olympic swimmers on the internet, Amy accidentally left the water camera aimed perfectly on my crotch.  Every parent and child in the waiting room got a 5 minute long peep show.  You're welcome everyone! 

For the next 15 minutes we continued taking video footage of my pathetic paddling.  In that time Amy exhausted every idea she used on 5 and 6 year old kids.  Snorkels, "playing catch up," kicking drills, floating, etc... 

We were both relieved class ended.  Honestly, how much longer could that degradation continue?  After shaking hands wearily and saying our goodbyes, I headed into the waiting room to gather my belongings and find a changing room.  Literally every parent and child watched me with a hushed sorrow as I entered.  "Okay, guys.  I know it was bad.  But really?  Don't judge.  At least I was brave enough to try."  I smiled at them kindly and even waved at a few kids wanting to prove I had nothing to be ashamed of.  Inside however, I howled from pure humiliation. 

The changing rooms were tiny, which was fantastic because I took the opportunity to collect myself.  My room sported a floor-to-ceiling mirror which finally showed why everyone gawked as I left my lesson.  My image didn't look like someone firing all cylinders.  Those poor observers weren't sure whether to appear proud of my feeble efforts, or question if I was hearty enough to drive home. 

~Roadburner

Staying original. It is a week of new experiences.

Cheers to trying new things. 

First off, my dog demonstrated a new trick on Father's Day. After spending a few hours at brunch with my in laws, my neighbor rushed over to me literally freaking out.  "Jen, did you get my texts?"

"No, sorry.  I've been really busy and haven't checked my phone all morning."

"Yeah, well your dog is on the roof.  I've been trying to get him down for 3 hours.  Every time I go near your house, he freaks and I am worried he is going to fall!"

I thought this was a joke so I just looked at him very blankly.  I looked out on the roof.  Nope, no dog.  My neighbor and I have a pretty light-hearted relationship, so I thought this was a new prank.  That's when he whipped out his phone and showed me a series of pictures he flooded my inbox with over the last couple hours.  Nope.  Not a joke.

My crazy dog suffers from extreme anxiety.  Desperately wanting beer and an egg skillet, he launched himself through the window screen and got stuck on the roof.

Monday morning rolled along and after a painful physical therapy appointment I headed out for a three mile run.  It didn't go well.  I ended up on the side of the trail, wallowing in pain and self-pity, wondering why the heck I am doing this.

Somehow that self-loathing session landed me in the pool on Tuesday where I decided I would buck up and strengthen all the stuff that Kevin swears is broken about me, which I am finding is quite the ledger.  I lasted 15 minutes.  That stamina was with great thanks to my half-choppy breast stroke.  I tried multiple times to glide across the water effortlessly with freestyle techniques, but I would get 3 or 4 paddles through the water before I started choking down water and I inevitably panicked, which of course made me drive my feet downwards.  Once I realized I couldn't touch the bottom anymore, I panicked like a drowning chicken.  Humiliated, I was well aware of the girl next to me completing lap after lap and all of the parents watching their kids during a swim lesson.  So mid-flail I switched back over to the breast stroke with a look of pure insecurity, "Yup.  Totally what I was looking for.  This is going as planned."   I belong on the trails, not in water.

This beached whale doesn't want to return to the pool.  However, my groin pain resonates from the hips, therefore I need to work on hip strength and stability and I'm told swimming is the best exercise.  Swimming also allows my body the opportunity to increase its aerobic capacities without overworking my legs.  My physical therapist promises that once I learn to swim efficiently, the gains in my running will be exponential.  So, I am headed to SwimLabs today for my first private lesson.  Yes, there will be 3 other classes going on, all with small children.  No, I don't have any dignity left.

Speaking of dignity, Kevin (PT) poked the last shreds of it away in the most timely manner this morning.  Some days I feel like we are making great progress.  The next day I wake up and I am in so much pain that I can't run a few yards.  This push and pull is wearing on my spirits so Kevin suggested we make the groin sore today.  He wanted me to work for about an hour stressing the area ever so slightly so that when it came time to do his typical massage on the areas, we would know exactly where the pain initiates.  Our findings were really interesting.  The pain actually ends in the groin.  That's only a byproduct.  My pain starts along the outer reaches of the gluteus.   When he pushed on my glutes, I felt it in the groin.

So, he dry needled my butt today.  In 5 places.  And my groin.  In 2 places.  If you've ever had your butt electrified, it truly is an original experience. 


~Roadburner

It's going to be a long road...

Today it hit me how long of a road this recovery really might be.  Up until this point I've remained undeterred and optimistic, thinking I will get back to my previous mileage in the next few weeks.  But today, I started questioning what the point to all this really is.  When I showed my physical therapist, Kevin, my training schedule for the REVEL Rockies Marathon, August 17, he paused and said, "Let's give it two more weeks to see how you are healing.  After that we will bring up the mileage again but you have to demonstrate some real changes before I can suggest you start training as normal again."  This took me a moment to process.

He put together a two week schedule to help me ease back into training 6 days a week but I was shocked at what he wrote:

Sunday: 3 miles (yesterday. CHECK!)
Monday: 3 miles (CHECK!)
Tuesday: Swim 60 Minutes
Wednesday: 4 miles
Thursday: Rest/Stretch
Friday: 5 miles
Saturday: Swim 60 Minutes

The next week looks exactly the same but I am to run 4 miles on Tuesday instead of 3.  Sorry, Kevin, but 15 miles in one week is not 50+ miles a week.  I am starting to think this next race is a pipe dream.  Maybe I would heal better if I let it go and focused on shorter distances for the next few months.

On another note, I haven't swam freestyle in at least 10 years.  And the last time I did, I made it 5 laps before I was so out of breath I floundered around, gasped for air, and desperately longed for a life jacket. 

So I am changing my focus. 

1. I don't own an athletic one piece suitable for swimming laps.  I don't own any goggles.  And better yet, I need to flounder around a pool for 60 minutes tomorrow.  So, after my youngest son wakes from his nap, we are going shopping this afternoon.  
2. I called a local swim school to help me swim more efficiently.  This will be humiliating being the only adult in a pool with a bunch of summer swim camp kids, but it will be less embarrassing than being rescued by a lifeguard on my third lap.  I asked for a private lesson...
3. I put away the REVEL Rockies training plan I'd created weeks ago.  I can't keep looking at it.  The pressure to heal is not helping my mood and I can't rush this process.  My goal is to come back stronger, not band-aid the problem and return to this place in a couple months.
4. Continue my physical therapy sessions and my daily strength programs that Kevin designed specifically for my injury and long-term goals.  
5. Put my pride away.  Running 15 miles a week is still 15 miles a week and that is better than nothing.  Plus, I am being pushed into new opportunities, forced to expand my horizons.  This could be a valuable lesson that will better my character.  

Here are my hip stabilizing exercises in order (Do these at your own risk.  This routine was specifically designed for my injury.  Most of these exercises you can find online if you search running hip stability.  If you are injured, always seek the advice of a doctor first.):

• Dog Pee Squat - 30 reps every hour, every day.  Yes.  That's a lot.  Oh, by the way, I finally told Kevin what my name is for this stretch and he almost died laughing.  He couldn't look me in the eyes for at least 20 minutes today. 

 

•  One-Legged Bridge (30 per leg, 1xday)

 

These are harder than they look.

• Clam Shells with Resistance (30 per side, using a green band, 1xday)

 

 

•   Heal Squeezes (30 per side, 1xday)

 

 

• Monster Walks - Stand with band between ankles and step out at a diagonal with one foot.  Bring the other foot up to meet your front foot.  Continue alternating feet as you stay in a partial squat, working your way 30 feet out and back.  Do two sets, once a day.

 

 

•  One Legged Hip Rotators - Holding onto the green band stand on one leg.  Rotate your hip and chest to the outside, away from the band.  Keep your entire core straight.  (20 per side, 1xday)

You won't rotate much, but you will feel it in your glutes.

• Side Lunges - Stand with your knees slightly bent, core tight.  Step to the side and use the bent leg's strength to push back up to neutral.  (40 per leg, 1xday)

 

• Core Work - Before I started going to PT, I began a simple core workout.  My PT wants me to continue this daily on top of my running and swimming workouts.
• Middle crunches (neutral position) - 60 reps 1xday
• One legged crunches (I put one leg over the other knee and put the opposite elbow to my knee) - 60 reps per side 1xday
• 30 push-ups (2 sets of 15, 1xday)
• Superman holds.  (Lay on stomach and keeping core tight, lift both arms and legs off the ground.) Hold for 60 seconds, 3 reps, 1xday
• Plank holds - Hold for 60 seconds, 2 reps, 1xday
• Rolling out hips, legs, lower back, glutes with a foam roller 1-2xday

 
I am seeing progress, but I have a lot more work to do.  I've tried to stay very focused and upbeat but it is impossible to not get frustrated along the way.  Two miles away from home this morning, my eyes became red and my face hot in frustration and anger.  "Seriously, what is the point?"  After cursing myself out for a good 20 minutes, I decided the point is not to be a quitter.  I know that sounds really childish, but just because it gets hard and you get pushed entirely out of your comfort zone doesn't mean you earned the right to throw in the towel.  I am stupidly stubborn, and honestly that is enough.  I am going to learn how to swim.  I am going to continue to incorporate strength and stability work into my daily routine.  I am going to be grateful for the mileage, even 15 miles per week for a while.  When I get to the other side of this, 1 month, 2 months, or 6 months from now, I will be stronger.  I will be faster and more confident than I was a month ago when I was in the best shape of my life. 

Kevin reassured me that most people who experience an injury almost always come back stronger.  Not only do you fix what was broken in the first place, but you strengthen your entire body and your resolve.  He said, "Sometimes, an injury is the best thing that can happen to someone because it forces them to address those weakness, break free from routine, and start better habits from the ground up."  My resolve isn't broken, just a little pissed off, and I can work with that.


~Roadburner

Shoe Changes. Show your stuff New Balance Minimus.

My physical therapist analyzed my stride yesterday.  Surprisingly, I supinate on my right foot exacerbating the weakness of my right hip.  While it isn't likely the smoking gun to my hip issues, it certainly isn't helping.  For the last two years, I've worn Saucony Virratas.  It's comfortable and I never have any pain in the foot or knees when I wear them so I figured they were a good fit. 

Virratas are a zero drop shoe, although I can't see how that is true and would argue they are closer to 4mm.  I always found them flexible, but when I look at my wear patterns from old shoes I always strike the outer edge of my foot and wear away that cushioning faster.  Furthermore, I struggled with tendonitis in my right shin throughout training, and lost a toenail on my right foot after the Colfax Marathon.  Between my shin, toe, and hip issues, something is majorly wrong with my right leg.  My doctor suggested that I get my stride formally analyzed by a knowledgeable running shoe store where they could videotape me running in various shoes. 

When I arrived at Road Runners in Centennial, the sales girl asked what I was running in and what my problems with the shoe were.  I told her I like my Sauconys.  I like the lower drop as I naturally run on my forefoot and wouldn't want a clunky heal.  However, I've injured the muscles in my groin and need to re-evaluate.  "You supinate in those shoes, right?"  Okay, now I was shocked, how did she know that?  Maybe we are getting somewhere.

"Yeah, exactly.  It is slight but my doctor thinks it could be making matters worse."

"Oh, man!  Nothing is slight when you are running 1,000 miles in 5 months, or running 26.2 miles in a few hours.  Everything adds up.  Everything."

She grabbed a Virrata off the shelf and showed me how the shoe is extremely flexible from heal to toe but when she tried to flex it from side to side and twist it over itself, it was very stiff.  She explained this stiffness encourages you to rock onto the outer edge of your foot, especially if you supinate naturally.  Therefore, a slight supination becomes a very pronounced one. 

Wanting to prove her point, she had me throw on a pair of Virratas and recorded me running for a minute.  I landed slightly on the outermost part of my right heal and then rotated inwards to end in a neutral stance.  Next, I put on a pair of New Balance 10 Minimus and we recorded for another minute.  Because the shoe was much more flexible at all angles, nothing corrected my stride and I remained neutrally balanced throughout the strike.  There was no rocking back and forth, no landing on the outer edge. 

The Minimus is a zero drop shoe, with less padding so I am slightly tentative, however I feel like I have little to loose at this point.  She agreed I needed a more minimum shoe for my stride, but needed something very flexible and because I am smaller in stature, I don't need a ton of cushioning to absorb the weight of my stride.  I accepted the compliment and questioned their return policy.  I have 90 days to exchange them in any condition.  I'll try them out this weekend, and bring them into my physical therapist, Kevin, to analyze them as well. 

I know shoe technology is a big business but I didn't realize how much it could affect your stride adversely.  I also didn't know that your foot strike can change dramatically over time.  Apparently, you are supposed to have your stride analyzed by a shoe expert once a year.  It's been much longer than that in my case.  Whoops.


~Roadburner

Groin Woes. How much would you endure to cure your nether region pain?

Twelve miles left of the Colfax Marathon and my groin ached exponentially as I trotted along an uneven surface, my right leg at least 4 inches higher than the left.  After 6-7 miles of this pulling pain, it slowly went numb and I only noticed it as a problem at mile 25 and walking back to the car.  My poor husband and friends had to walk about a mile with me limping like I recently underwent a hip replacement surgery.  The blister in between my toes on the right foot made my waddle even more pathetic, as my husband asked repeatedly, "Would you prefer we just bring the car to you?"

"No thanks, that's clearly a pride issue at this point."

A few hours after the race, I had a sports massage that focused 100% on my legs.  The next day, I wasn't sore at all and managed stairs beautifully.

The Hanson's Marathon Method that I followed prescribed a full two week break from running after the race.  Not even a slow recovery jog would be appropriate so I hunkered down and decided some core work that completely left my legs out of the picture would be appropriate.  Nine days after the race, I had the shakes so bad a stranger would have thought I was coming off of a drug induced high.  So I ventured out for a short 3 mile run to test out the system.

One mile in, I noticed the same pulling that I experienced during the race.  I've never had this problem other than the race, but it is a feeling that's hard to mistaken.  I wanted to run through it but I kept asking myself what further damage I might be inflicting on my body by ignoring this pain, permanent damage in the nether regions is never advised.

I let another week slide by while icing and avoiding any impact on my legs or hips.  Fifteen days after the race, I tried again with worse pain.

I figured, "Screw it!  I just ran another marathon.  Give yourself permission to heal."  My family was leaving for Disney World in a few days and I had no desire to run alone on hot, humid streets at ungodly hours in a strange place, with a sore groin.

Owen loves Mickey and Minnie but when we got there, he was so star struck he just stared at them in disbelief.

Apparently, I didn't behave myself.  The day we returned from Orlando my husband told me to go on a run as soon as we got home.  Once again, the painful pulling on the inside of my leg became so severe, I grimaced just walking home the rest of the way.

That's where my physical therapist comes in.  Meet Kevin.  I don't like doctors.  They aren't bad, but I don't like fixing things medically that can be fixed naturally with a little rest and a lot of ice.  I thought I had a strained hip flexor.  All the symptoms pointed to that, but it should have improved after a month of rest.  I felt like I had no other choice but to seek professional help.  Kevin found that I have cartilage caught in my inner hip socket, causing the muscles around that point to seize violently when scraped.  He thinks we can move the cartilage out of the way by repeatedly moving the joint and stretching the surrounding muscles.

He prescribed a stretch that relieves 75% of the pain after a few reps and 100% for 20 minutes at a time after a ton of reps.  I call it the Dog Pee Squat because it literally looks like a dog on a hydrant.  Elevating my right (injured) leg on a bench or bed I bend my leg at a 90 degree angle.  My right foot rests behind me out to the side and my left leg stands planted solidly on the floor.  Then I lean into the left leg, squatting into it slowly and pausing for 3 seconds.  I'm supposed to do 30 of these Dog Pee Squats every hour, 50 before and after a run, and 20 after each mile of the run.  I get to run 3 miles every day, but never more than 3 until the pain is completely gone mid-run.

After doing 10-15 of these, I can spread my left leg out further and get a deeper stretch, but this shallow stance is painful enough to start each set. 

Because the stretching helped, Kevin ruthlessly thought sticking needles into my groin would also help.  Sure, it makes sense.  Stick a hot poker into a muscle that has never seen the light of day, and of course it will spasm out of control, trying to escape from the insanity.

The best way I can describe the "treatment" was Kevin pinched my muscle as if trying to measure my fat content in gym class.  When I squealed in pain, he found the right spot to stick his needle.  Rolling the muscle between his fingers, he inserted the tip, stuck it in there really far and wiggled it around while continuing to massage the muscle.  He was trying to find a "trigger point" deep within the muscle, which once found, it jumped around violently and sent unpleasant vibrations throughout the muscle.  It burned and ached.  The sadistic bastard did it 6 times.  (By the way, I really do like Kevin.  But needling my groin left me testy.)

Afterwards he asked how I felt.  I told him my groin was just electrified, so all considering I felt pretty violated.  All day my muscles in the right inner thigh have been tired and spasm suddenly.  He warned me this would happen and actually meant progress.  By twitching the muscle, it should release and the pain will subside.

God, I hope he is right because I could do without galvanizing my privates, ever again.


~Roadburner