A few days ago I saw my doctor. She hooked me up to an EKG and said everything looked really good at rest. The only concern was that my blood pressure was extremely low, 80/50, and my resting heart rate was rather high, especially for someone who exercises regularly. The lab drew a few viles of blood and my doctor ordered stress tests and a 24-hour test, which I have yet to complete. She thinks my heart rate compensates for my extremely low blood pressure, so we need to figure out why my blood pressure is dangerously low.
Heading out the door, she encouraged me to take it easy. "Don't let your heart rate climb above 180!" she reminded me. "If you have to race this weekend, take it easy. Don't race, just finish!"
The Backcountry Half Marathon is only 3 days away. I worked really hard training for this race as I do all of my races. My husband and I ran the Backcountry whenever we earned a few minutes away from the boys. I scaffolded my training appropriately. I always make conscience decisions about food choices. And more than anything, I ran my pants off for the last few months. My doctor told me very sternly to wear a heart rate monitor during the race and glance at it every few minutes. If my heart starts creeping towards the 170 range, back down, walk, and when it is significantly lower, begin again. She didn't tell me not to run, just watch it.
First of all, I don't want to hurt myself. So of course I will heed the advice appropriately. However, running with a monitor really takes all of the fun out of racing. Races are about challenging your body and pushing your limits. Under doctor's orders, there are no limits to test, just a 13.1 mile run to complete. Of course I knew I wasn't going to win the race even if I pushed really hard. There are crazy good runners that will show up, ultra marathoners that will eat this race like a 6 minute per mile snack. But I love seeing what I can do. I don't race against the other runners, I compete against myself. The race is about improving, seeing how far I can run up 12% inclines without tiring; bounding like a gazelle through the trails' rollers. Racing shouldn't be about studying a watch and letting it decide my limitations.
If you aren't pushing your limits, testing your training, what is the point of a race? I am disappointed and worried about my heart. I am young and in the best shape of my life. But my body is clearly sending me signals to rest for a while. This Saturday, I will toe the line. I will extinguish any competitiveness within me and see the race as a nice opportunity to run the most beautiful city trails in Colorado amongst some of the best people.
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