Strength

I don't want to go into the Colfax Marathon with negative memories from my 20 miler so fresh in my mind.  I've been nervous all week as the race rapidly approaches.  On my way to dropping Ethan off at school today he asked me if I thought I was ready to race.  I told him, "It is a goal that I worked really hard for.  I have been working for this since January, which is a long time.  I am ready because my hard work will pay off."  He didn't understand what "goal" meant.  So I explained it is something that you want really badly and you work hard to earn it.  I told him last summer his goal was to learn to ride his bike without training wheels.  He practiced really hard and now he is a confident cyclist.  "Goals make us better people and that is why it is important that we set goals and finish them to the best of our abilities."

Trying on my race clothes.  The boys thought I looked like a tiger.

Then he asked, "Mommy, why is is so important to you that you finish this goal, running so far?"  I've never teared up or put myself on a pedestal when I refer to my goals towards running.  I run for me.  I have never pretended to run for my kids or anyone else.  I like to run.  It is fun and good for my health.  Period.  But my vision started to blur as I told him, "I set this goal because I wanted to see if I could do it.  I want to know what my body is capable of and I want to be strong.  And now that I have set this goal, I have to reach it.  Quitting is not an option because someday I want you and your brother to look back at your childhood and think of Mommy as a strong woman.  If I quit, you won't see me that way.  And what will that teach you?"

"Okay, Mommy.  But I want you to know that you are strong.  I knew that already!"
 

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