Mommy, You Stink!

I got back from a freezing cold run today and began making breakfast.  My contacts froze to my eyes the first few miles and I didn't mind one bit.  I figured it silently proved my dedication to the sport. My two kids were splayed out on the couch watching some TV show that must have been captivating because they didn't even notice when I got home.  I tried to tell them good morning, but they continued shunning me.  "Whatever," I thought, "I will win against that TV when I present food."

Meanwhile, my husband ran a quick 3 miles on the treadmill downstairs as the eggs boiled.  (For the record, I love hard boiled eggs, but they have to be cooked perfectly.  I boil them for 2 minutes uncovered, then cover and remove from the heat for 10 minutes.  After 10 minutes exactly, I shock them with cold water and feast!) 

When Randall came back upstairs, I started peeling everyone's eggs.  He got in my way of the trash can for some reason so I bent down to peel my eggs more effectively.  That's when I noticed a horrifically foul stench.  Naturally, I looked at Randall who was standing above me and thought, "GROSS! Shower already!  I on the other hand don't stink, I froze my tail off this morning.  I couldn't have sweat much."  I politely asked my husband if he stunk, and after a thorough examination of his pits, he decided he didn't stink.  I smelled him and confirmed no, it wasn't him.  Damn.

I thrust my nose towards the trash can, thinking something must have died in it last night.  That was the only reasonable explanation at this point.  But the trash just smelled like wet paper towels and egg shells.

Suddenly, I grimaced.  Holy crap!  It's me!  I STINK!  As I was bent over the trash can peeling eggs, it pooled all of my sweaty scent into one small area and I finally had a whiff of what my boys were trying to avoid all along.  I was nasty.  I instantly stood, walked over to my chair and ate my egg and smoothie as fast as I could.

Owen, my youngest wanted a new TV show after breakfast.  I politely abliged, wanting to avoid conflict when all I needed was a shower.  But as I turned on the show, he looked at me and said, "Mommy, don't sit right there.  You stink too bad."  Yes baby, Mommy loves you too.

Randall was already in the shower upstairs.  When he got out he said, "Oh, Jen you are going to have to wait at least 30 minutes before you can get in.  The water is crazy cold."  Yeah, today is the one day that is just not going to happen.  "I will freeze."

The immediate effects of running are rarely pretty.  But after a freezing cold shower, the options are once again endless.  I'm not the girl who applies makeup for the gym.  I don't care if my outfit matches or if my hair looks beautiful before a run.  Typically, my hair sticks out in every direction before I throw a hat on that disaster.  But I don't mind.  I consider it a built in self-defense system from animals and bad people at 7:00 am. 

 

 

 

Definitely need this in a woman's scent!

 ~Roadburner

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